Believing that most days can be great ones, this one almost drove me through the ground. Having had some luck dealing with life on it's terms , in the past, has almost destroyed my being. At time I did loose all sense of reality with drinking and drugging as must as I could possibly take. I've been battling the world the best I could. With the limited knowledge as I have chosen to absorb, life even with the best of the greatest of, self preserving interest, somehow as always shitted back. Yes, my always selfish was has always chosen me, no matter. Enough of my ramblings and I believe all my chosen words to express my self with the act of saving thoughts as they occur and blah, blah, blah. I hat a shitty day. I was able to experience extreme fear of loosing a child......
I received a call that my youngest of daughters was hit by a car, today. Eight years old and I was in extreme pain from all emotions. Making it to the scene, in-kind, was a valued respect of all other beings of the world surrounding me. Tunnel vision as I made it there I was fucking mad at the total family whom I already felt was responsible. Only to truly find Samantha just fine.( forgetting to focus on the one child that was hurt and failing to place all my differences for the sake of this BLOG). My total lack of self control frightened everyone especially my children. A total messed up scene and I demanded my two children whom had been under the care of the whole of my exes family, which was vehemently denied. I did not drink and made it back to work relieved. But I can't stop remembering their fear of not seeing my eyes and them missing not coming with along with me. Earlier I kept re-remembering and could not get the images nor my rage out of my emotions.
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