Loosing Grandpa- First time sharing

I just stepped out of the shower and dried off, from an exhausting day. Yesterday I performed two compressor changeouts and today another. My co-worker reminded what I have said in the past, which I hold as true, things happen in three's. Today at lunch I thought of Grandpa and Dad, i even became at ease with my grieving, knowing that Grandpa will never leave and he will always be near when i utter "Grand-pa'", I will always remember and know his voice, suggesting, what I should do. I know he'll be around all the rest of my life until I meet up with him again. At that time he will know I have become as he, a better Father, Son, Brother, and a true Friend: maybe a Husband again. He is slowly drawing up from dehydration and bed ridden, it is hard to see him literally vanish away, he does have good moments and all the family are trying be there and it does become crowded. Anyway I reassured Grandpa that, "I know what to do now and that I've got 40 years to get it right and that, also i will still continue to talk and ask him questions, even when he finally passes ( we are not stranger of truth) and he will just have to listen to me for now on, because I know he will be forever in my heart.
I stayed a while as he reached out to hold my hand and squeezed. I knelt down on to one knee and asked God to set this moment. There could be more things I guess and that would be fine if he wished fot me and he then said, "Take care of your Dad." After which I left him to sleep and I went ouitside, oh I did say to Grandpa "we really gave it hell working together, didn't we?", then he smiled. Then I told him that I got forty more years to get it right and he said "I know you'll would"
Dad wants me to be a
Friday, Sept. 2, 2011
Last night i went to sleep early. Slept well with dreams of another woman in my life, also had a dream about a factory (chicken) that was churning character of people and providing a job. Some of the conversations were detailed and I was able to follow along and know were i was and had a conscience of my role.
I did not call anyone last night and I don't regret it, I left the gate open for Cabo last night and he was in the yard this morning. Still reading a few pages out of some books I've started. "The Secret of The Ages" and "Men Like Gods".
Thoughts of Grandpa and the family, I believe that the right order of things are being done. It is not hard to watch my Grandfather die slowly, it is a realization which subconsciously I am processing.